Shattered Heart
by Jikoo
Summary: Sakuras thoughts on life, after Sasuke left. Sort of a songfic. Read and Reveiw
1. Default Chapter

Authours note  
  
I have been having a total writers block on my other fic  
  
"Down the Road", and after listening to evanescence one night,  
  
this popped into my mind. It's an angsy one-shot, Sakuras POV.  
  
Hope you enjoy  
  
Song "My Immortal" by Evanescence 


	2. Sakura

Sakura stood atop a hilltop a few kilometres from Konoha village. A slight breeze ruffled the grass beneath her feet, a few strands Of her hair blurred into her vision as she took in her surroundings. It was a particularly bright and sunny day, not a cloud in the sky. Indeed it was a beautiful day, but the fact seemed to escape Sakura even though she was standing right in the middle of it. It was not that she did not see it, she was just so totally indifferent to it. In fact she had been indifferent to a lot of things lately. For a long while now, she had not cared much for anything. Ever since he left. Ever since he left her.  
  
It had been three years since that fateful day, and life had never returned to normal. Three years since the love of her life abandoned her. Three years since the ground seemed to have opened up and swallowed her. He had left, underlining the fact that he never cared in the first place. Through the years Sakura had known and loved Sasuke. She knew that he did not seem to return her affections in any way, but she had always believed that somehow her undying love for him would be returned some day.  
  
As the wind ruffled her hair once again she closed her eyes, and tried to remember the happy times. The times Sasuke would actually smile at her. It had happened a few times over the years and when it did, it meant the world to her. She would be dancing on air for days, replaying it in her mind over and over, playing with the thought that he loved her back.  
  
But he left, in his quest to kill his brother. Her inner most fear had been realized . All her love and affection had been useless. She couldn't take it. Her mind could not cope with the fact that he did not care at all. It was all she had thought about ever since he left. It had been three long years. She was tired...so very tired  
  
I'm so tired of being here suppressed by all of my childish fears and if you have to leave  
  
I wish that you would just leave  
  
because your presence still lingers here and it won't leave me alone  
  
When Kakashi-sensei had broken the news to her, she had hit rock bottom Ever since she had been digging a mental hole for herself, sealing herself off from the world. For the first period of time she had sobbed uncontrollably every waking hour. She had been sitting in her room all day crying non stop, only interrupted by occasional hours of restless sleep. After some time she had become so weak, she had been suspended from her duties as a ninja. On top of that, her love had been branded a traitor and a missing-nin, one to be killed on sight. Bit she was not capable of letting him go.  
  
these wounds won't seem to heal this pain is just too real there's just too much that time cannot erase  
  
Sakura bent her head backwards and stared of into the sky. All she could see was blue. It was kind of empty, just like her. Tranquill, motionless, catatonic. She could hear the breeze in her ears as it blocked out all the other sounds the forested area made around her. Nothingness and a slight buzzing. It was morbidly reminiscent of how she felt.  
  
She remembered how she had tried to soothe his pain that time when his curse seal had first been activated so long ago. She remembered how she worried about him during the chuunin exam. She remembered the time he had given in to the power of his curse, and gone after the ones that had hurt her. In that moment she was so happy about him caring, but the way he showed it was terrifying. If only she had realized then. He was an avenger, she would never have any place in his stone cold heart. Nor would anyone for that matter. But her heart would never let go of him. No matter what.  
  
when you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears when you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears and I've held your hand through all of these years but you still have all of me  
  
Sakura lowered her head and looked down the cliffside. The last years her mind had constantly tumbled downwards. She had become a useless shinobi unable to shake the image of the raven-haired boy with the dark eyes from her mind. She sighed inwardly as she stepped a little closer to the edge. The bright sun, green grass at the bottom of the gully and the blue sky, was ironic considering what she was feeling. She thought of what what a contrast the sound of her bones cracking on impact to the ground would be to the happy chirping of the birds, as she took one more step. Sasuke did not want her, and ever since he left, she had become a wreck, so no one else wanted her either. The prospect of being so totally unwanted as she felt was like a splinter in her mind, slowly eating away her sanity. Useless, good for nothing...something to throw away... The feeling was worse than ever and she felt beckoned to relieve herself of the horrifying pain it brought her, her every waking moment, haunting her dreams. She stared down the rugged cliff...  
  
you used to captivate me by your resonating light but now I'm bound by the life you left behind your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams your voice it chased away all the sanity in me  
  
Sakura squatted down and took her backpack off, placing it in front of her. She slowly opened it. After all this torment, she had finally come up with how to deal with it. Sasuke would never leave her mind. He would always be there, a bittersweet sensation. She had tried to come to terms with him being gone over and over. But she had found it quite the unaccomplishable feat.  
  
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone  
  
and though you're still with me I've been alone all along  
  
She took out a large fuuma shuriken, and unfolded it's four blades.  
  
"Well, this is it then" she said silently to herself. She held the giant throwing star in one hand, trebling a bit. No-one could understand how she felt now...no one.. She stretched her arm out behind her and flung the projectile in a smooth arc out in the air. It whirled off to the left but changed it's direction and started to turn. It arced more and took a steady path back towards it's origin.  
  
Sakura let her arms dangle limply by her sides as she closed her eyes. "I'm not totally useless after all. At least I can do this right" A single tear trickled down her cheek. She could hear the shuriken coming closer, the whirling noise a messenger of her oncoming demise. No-one could comprehend how she felt. Useless, unloved, unwanted..  
  
A single image flashed through her mind  
  
She gasped  
  
All she heard was a loud thump as she rolled sideways.  
  
She was confused and startled as she was able to open her eyes. She could see the shuriken imbedded in a tree behind where she was standing before. She turned her head to look upwards. Her gaze was met by a pair of worried azure-blue eyes  
  
A single word escaped her lips  
  
"Naruto...." 


End file.
